Nothing's Wrong
by F91
Summary: BPHaru, this one's for you! Fate used to think her feelings were wrong. Nanoha/Fate. For real, I swear. Look, I didn't abbreviate their names! That's how serious I am.


Nanoha has always been an important person to me.

Back when I only had memories of a false life, she was the one who pulled me out of the darkness. She taught me what it meant to be a friend, to be human. The warmth of her hug was the complete opposite of my mother's cold beatings.

I always had strong feelings towards her. Even the mere mention of her name was accompanied by immense joy. I didn't think much of it at first. That's the way friends were, right? I thought it a little strange that I didn't feel that way about Suzuka, or Arissa, but I concluded it was because of all the hardships I had went through with Nanoha that I felt much closer to her. She wasn't just my friend, she was my _best_ friend.

Then came puberty. It struck me sooner than most. Being an early bloomer, I was faced with envy from all the girls, and teasing from all the boys. But, soon everyone else caught up. The boys went from teasing me to being shy and reserved around me. I could feel them cast glances in my direction during class, and they stood a lot closer to me than they used to. It didn't bother me that much. They were at that magical age where the opposite sex becomes appealing.

But that made me feel that something was off.

Some of the girls in my class would bring in these magazines. In them would be pictures of the latest popular movie star, wearing only pants and a smile. A shirtless man was certainly not a strange sight to me. Chrono often walked around the house naked from the waist up after a bath. I never felt anything those times. Chrono is my brother, after all. However, even after looking at these men who were certainly not my brother…

I didn't feel anything.

We had learned about it in health class. "When a man and a woman love each other very much..." That was the requirement to have a child. It is how the human race lives on. Boys and girls are attracted to each other for this purpose. But I felt no such desire towards to boys. The other girls would all squeal in delight talking about what it would be like to have their dream boyfriend, but I had no such thoughts.

There were love letters. Lots of them. I even got one from the most popular guy in school. I was flattered, but I always turned them down. The idea of dating a boy never crossed my mind.

I wondered why I was different, why I didn't have the same reaction as the other girls. Was it because I wasn't born normally? Because I wasn't conceived through the love of a man and a woman, did I lack that emotion?

I might have been satisfied with that conclusion, but something else complicated matters.

Nanoha.

I couldn't help but be fixated on her. I would always find myself looking at her. I noticed every little thing about her development. Her hair growing longer, her figuring beginning to fill out, the increasing prominence of those two lumps under her shirt. Whenever she was close, I would get lost in her scent. When she smiled at me and called my name, my mind became blank and my heart raced.

Such clichéd reactions all pointed to one thing:

Love.

I was in love with Nanoha? I couldn't believe it. She was my best friend, my saviour, but most of all, she was another girl. Boys fell in love with girls, and girls fell in love with boys, right? Wasn't that how the world works?

But I was in love with another girl. Wasn't that wrong?

I became scared. I was so frightened about my feelings and what it meant. What if others found out? What if Nanoha found out? She would be disgusted, wouldn't she? She'd think I was some sort of freak and never speak to me again.

So I buried it. I buried my feelings deep inside. I tried to act as I always did when I was around Nanoha. Sometimes it was very hard restraining myself. Every time we bathed together or had a sleep over, I used most of my energy keeping my desires in check. While looking at her sleeping face, I came close to stealing her lips on several occasions. But my heart wouldn't allow that. It wasn't fair to Nanoha.

It got easier as I grew older. As I matured, I became able to handle situations more effectively. I enjoyed every moment I was together with Nanoha. Walking to school together, eating lunch together, and walking home after school. They were all precious moments to me. I was happy just being by her side. I convinced myself that it was more than a person like me deserved.

I just wanted Nanoha to be happy, even if it wasn't because of me. So when it became rather obvious that Yuuno also had feelings for her, I decided to offer him my support. Yuuno is a good guy, and I knew his feelings were genuine. He could make her happy. He was a boy, and she was a girl. Just like health class taught us. It was right. When the three of us were together, I'd always make some business come up and left them alone. I would always smile slightly while watching Nanoha and Yuuno chat happily from afar.

It hurt so much.

I tried to take my mind off it. I shifted my focus to caring for the children with situations like mine. I love all my wards and took great satisfaction in watching them grow. But my mind would still shift back to Nanoha.

The days at Riot Force 6 were some of the best. Not only did I get to see Nanoha every day, but we got to share a room, and even slept in the same bed. It was like we were newly weds!

I had quickly stopped myself before I was lost in the fantasy. I told myself that I was the weird one, and that I shouldn't get carried away.

And then Vivio arrived.

Darling, sweet, innocent Vivio. It was wonderful to see Nanoha discover the joys of foster motherhood like I had. My role was simply godmother. Since I had more experience with kids, I watched over them both, making sure everything was all right.

But every time I heard Vivio call me 'Fate-mama', I was filled with both joy and self-loathing. It really did feel like Nanoha and I were a couple with a daughter, but like I had told myself time and time again, romantic love between two women was impossible. It was wrong.

Things went back to normal after Riot Force 6 was disbanded. Work kept me away, so I would only visit Nanoha and Vivio sporadically. Oh how I longed to go back to how we were during the JS Incident. The three of us, together.

I was reaching the breaking point.

The darkness was gathering once again.

I'll never forget the day that ray of light from an unexpected source saved me.

I had been working a case with Yuuno's help. Despite my efforts, there hadn't been much improvement in Nanoha and Yuuno's relationship. It took a lot of prodding, but I got him to agree to just confess to her. He let out an exasperated sigh, but I figured it was because he was nervous.

The next day I inquired about the results.

"She doesn't reciprocate." He said.

I was so shocked. Nanoha actually turned him down?

"Don't be discouraged!" I said. "If you keep trying, you'll win her over some day! First, you should…"

I was cut off by Yuuno placing his hands on my shoulders. He looked at me straight on. His smile was kind, but his eyes told me he was serious.

"It's ok Fate." He said. "You don't have to force yourself anymore."

"What do you mean?" I asked. He couldn't have known about my secret.

"Fate," He said gently. "It's my job to analyze things. I examine things down to every minor detail. Of course I'm going to notice."

I averted my gaze. "I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Fate, I know you're in love with Nanoha." He said.

And there it was. The one truth I didn't want anyone to discover. But now that it was out in the open, I couldn't bring myself to deny it.

"You must think I'm disgusting…" I whispered. "A girl liking another girl… How vile… It's… It's wrong!"

Yuuno didn't say anything. Eventually I looked up to see what kind of face he was making. He still had that gentle smile on his face.

"How silly." He said when our eyes met. "A love like yours, so intense and pure… How could that possibly be wrong?"

And that's all it took. For years I had been denying myself. I had kept everything hidden away because I thought it wasn't right. But here was a trusted friend telling me that it was ok. That it wasn't wrong at all. It was like a SSS class bind spell had been lifted from my heart.

My shoulders relaxed under Yuuno's hands.

"You really mean it?" I asked, just to be sure.

He nodded. "Of course. We've uncovered many artefacts that show that same sex couples have been around for millennia." Yuuno removed his hands. "You should go now."

"Go where?" I asked, confused. He wasn't kicking me out, was he?

"To Nanoha, of course." He sighed overdramatically. "Like I said, it's my job to analyze. I've known for awhile, but… I… I didn't want to accept it at first. Nanoha's heart has always belonged to one person alone." He gave me a meaningful look.

Me? He's talking about me? I pointed to myself dumbly. Yuuno nodded.

"Go on." He said. I wanted to run out the door and find her, but there was still something else.

"… What about you, Yuuno?" I asked, remembering all the pain I suffered seeing the one I loved with another. Yuuno stared at the floor for a moment before giving me a sad smile.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." He assured me. "I've prepared for it… It's just something I have to accept. I'm happy my two friends have found love."

It was obvious he was putting up a tough front, but I was grateful for his sacrifice. I approached him and gave my long time friend a hug.

"Thank you, Yuuno." I whispered.

"Don't mention it." He replied.

I backed away from him, gave a short bow, and took off.

At that time of day, I knew where Nanoha would be. The Nanoha I had loved for so long. The Nanoha I could finally express my feelings to.

And there she was, head peeking over the top of the horizon. The rest of her body soon followed as I drew closer.

"Nanoha!" I cried.

I didn't stop until I reached her.

* * *

And I leave the rest up to your imagination (hint: they get together!)

And so there's my attempt at doing a serious NanoFate. Had this idea in my head, and I ran with it because I wanted to. It ended up being a social commentary of sorts. Of course I've never been a lesbian hiding her feelings, so I can't say for sure if I portrayed it properly. It may or may not go against the canon. That depends on what point in the time line you think Nanoha and Fate get together. This fic is obviously post-StrikerS, pre-Vivid.

Yeah, I had Yuuno in there. I know how much people hate him, but who better to tell Fate the truth? Not only is he her friend, but he's her romantic rival, too. Withholding such info would benefit him. But no, he's not like that. This negative image the fandom has of him is not correct.

Like mentioned earlier, this one goes out to BPHaru. While I don't approve of her zero tolerance policy, I don't dislike her. I hope this makes her feel better.

I hate to disappoint you, though, but I still ship straight. I may write another NanoFate if an idea hits me.


End file.
